I thought I was doing so well resisting temptations. I actually thought I had gotten beyond the emotional
"grab the food and munch" and then feeling, "well I already ate a donut why not have some candy too." But oh boy did I learn better these past two days. I can never let my guard down!!! It is so important to remember that.
I know I am supposed to put this in the past. But I really am upset with myself. I have been doing so well. And it seemed a little ironic that it is the season of Lent and I should be denying myself not indulging.
It started yesterday. I was making the girls their final muffin tin for my On Our Way to St. Patrick's Day series. I was making the girls rainbow muffin tins and I needed some gold wrapped candies to represent the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So all hubby was able to find was miniature Reese's cups. And just to make sure he knows, I do not blame him for my indiscretion. I have been resisting temptation since the beginning of the year, who could know those silly candies would break me. I was only going to have 2 1/2, which is half a serving. Then it became a full serving. Then I was nibbling on some of the other foods I gave the children. Then I decided I wasn't even going to try to resist the temptations at my daughter's Dessert Theater. First I had talked about taking an orange with me. Then I reminded myself and my hubby that I am not supposed to eat after dinner. The plan was to just enjoy the music. After I had eaten the Reese's cups I just gave up. I ended up having a piece of peanut butter pie and a slice of chocolate chip cake, plus nibbling at Amelia's chocolate cake she wasn't as interested in as she thought she would be. It would have been better if they didn't make the "servings" so big.
I think I have been a little down because I had gained weight this week. Bring on the emotional eating. Even though I didn't realize it at first. I have resisted using a journal because I have been doing so well. But I think I have been sneaking a little more and a little more as I have gone along. I am just not sure how I will find the time to get it written down. But I have got to get back on track. Today was worse. A donut in the morning, after getting up too late to exercise, because of going to bed too late. And while making lunch I found myself sneaking the Reese's cups again. That is a sign of addiction right? Sneaking the food, trying to hide that you have a problem. Oh, and I had another donut while lunch was cooking. And such a healthy lunch, store bought chicken nuggets and sodium filled hull less popcorn. We had cheese, bread and butter (though I am now using I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light) and veges. At least I wiped the ranch dressing off my plate and used honey mustard instead. Then I snacked on some "healthy" Special K cracker chips after picking my son up from work. And while I was preparing dinner I was getting frustrated because I couldn't find things and dinner was going to be late, so I found myself snacking yet again. Stupid Swiss Rolls. I had to hide the fact that I was eating them. My hubby keeps telling me how proud he is of me for how well I have been doing.
So, I have 4 days of being really good before I have to weigh in. Five mornings of being able to exercise. I really hope these past two days don't ruin my week. Time to get moving and resist those temptations!